liloveanc

aku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
yang kini hadir diantara kita
namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
yang slama ini temani hidupku

Reff :
maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu
seandainya bila ku bisa memilih

kalau saja waktu itu ku tak jumpa dirinya
mungkin semua tak kan seperti ini
dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
membawa aku dalam kehancuran

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

(It’s all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this
(It’s all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that
(It’s all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this
(It’s all coming back to me now)
And if we, , ,

It has been two months since I so-called established a relationship with him. At first, I thought we would just be normal friends, nothing more, nothing less. But somehow, after a week, a “bond” was created between the two of us, that I thought, it was somewhat— special. We spent time together, getting to know each other closer and I thought to myself, this guy, understands me, more than ‘him’. He even show more care and concern more than ‘him’. But all these are all my thoughts alone, I do not know at that time that ‘he’ cared for me as much too, it’s just that, he doesn’t show it out. Well, perhaps THAT’S the thing that torn us apart — keep all things bottled up.

After all the years that we’ve been through together, it was definitely not easy to let go. At first I thought I could let go too, but I couldn’t. The name tattooed remained permanent, same as the feeling I had. I do not understand. Every time, every moment I spent with him, I was happy. But, deep inside me, I still think of ‘him’. Why????? I do not understand. Knowing that ‘he’ is not living on well hurts me, and it hurts me deep. Every time I think about it, I cry. I really wish to tell somebody, anybody who could understand me and give me pointers on what I should do. I want to tell my best friend, but I know she couldn’t help me much. Though she’s been in my shoes before, but both of us are of different characters and we see things differently. I wanted to tell him, he might understand how I feel, but it would hurt him a lot. I do not wish to hurt him anymore. I know, nobody else would understand me except God alone. I really hope that God would speak to me, giving me advice. God, I want You to be real.

Why couldn’t I let go? I really can’t take it anymore that every time I spend moments with him, the image of ‘him’ keep appearing. When I broke up with ‘him’, I told ‘him’ to give me some time to search my heart. And when I finally decided it, I thought I searched my heart. Didn’t I? Somehow, I felt that something isn’t right. And I know, for sure, something is really isn’t right. But, exactly what is it? How do I face it? I totally confused and blur. It’s unfair to him, that he should undergo this with me as well, I wouldn’t want to hurt him like how I hurt ‘him’. I do not wish to see history repeats. That’s why, I really need to know what is the matter and I have to make a decision, fast. I noticed that, no matter how much the decision might hurt, I still have to go through with it. I might be able  to go through it, but can he? He has been someone dear to me, has been with me when I felt empty, had been with me and taken care of me when I was sick. He poured his love and care to me endlessly. Although it is just for a short period of time, but there are still affections that I feel for him that I would hate to end it too.

I know, people will say that I’m a bitch. People will say that I’m not worth to be loved and even not worth to live, but people already started to hate me the very moment I made the step. Even I myself, hate myself. I really hate myself.

I’ve got myself into another relationship, a relationship with the Knight which filled my heart when emptiness engulfed me. Perhaps because of this, I see the light in him rather than my Prince. I abandoned my Prince because of this Knight. Repentance filled me…… it was wrong for me to do that to the Prince who loved me….. It was all wrong, it’s my entire fault. I find favor in someone fresh, someone new. I depended on the “sparks” in the relationship. I’m clueless….. Oblivious to the ways of LOVE. It’s so naïve of me…..

I put hope into this new fresh relationship. Like a fresh rose in my hands, will it last? Freshness has its own beauty, and when it’s all dried up, it still has its own beauty, if the rose has a deep sense of sentiment in you…. I hope the petals will hold onto the bud, but Petals might fall off, it’s the course of nature. The bright vibrant color, representing the freshness of the rose might fade off.

Prince once gave me his Rose. It was so beautiful; I thought it was the most beautiful Rose I’ve ever received. But as time goes by, it dried up, it faded……

This new Rose I received, will de colors dim down like the how me and prince dimmed down? What will I do? He’s the one, who gave me the hope, de vibrancy; will it dim down when I’ve shown much affection towards him?

So naïve and silly of me to be hoping that the colors will always be there, giving the bloom, effervescence to the flower. When will I stop being so naïve, so silly? Putting hope on “sparks” in a relationship? When will I ever learn that depending on the sparks wouldn’t work? It’s easy for me to advice someone else to not depend on the spark, but why can’t I apply it myself?

Yesterday, Sunday, 11^th of March, 2007, I did the most ridiculous thing, that, sad to say, I’ve been doing all along, that is to spend my whole Sunday afternoon through till the evening, doing nothing but just watching DVDs.

What movies did I watch??

Well, first I watched “The Last Kiss”: a movie, about couples. Various couples, that you could possibly find in our society. They were about five couples, I think. Some, well, I just prefer to just keep them in the lowlight. The main couple from the movie that I wish to highlight here is the one where this GUY is turning 30 soon (the BIG 30 for most men), got himself into a situation where he totally f**ked up his GAL of three years (beautiful, smart, understanding, almost to perfect girlfriend) and got her pregnant. Well, picture this, a soon-to-be-30 GUY with a pregnant girlfriend (totally not married) and wasn’t prepared for it al all! A familiar situation that we NORMALLY could come across nowadays, right?? They weren’t really prepared for the CHILDREN thingy, but decided to keep it anyway. The GUY was so freaked out that he didn’t know what to do. One minute he’s thinking: “Oh yeah, great! I’m starting a new life with my almost-to-perfect girlfriend and we’re gona have a baby!” and another minute, he was like: “Oh damn! No more life. It’s dead-end…. that’s it! No more surprises….”  And in the midst of his dilemma, here comes a stunning brunette, whom I had the impression of a b**ch, appeared, stated to have the hooks on him, seduced him, and so it goes.. Is it that when guys are really screwed up in the mind, they start to “think” with their “little willy down there”??? And yup, HE totally screwed up and slept with the brunette. Man, this a**h***!! The girlfriend’s pregnant and he can sleep around with some other girl as well?? If there is really a guy whom I know, who do this…. Oh, what a hard kick am I going to give in the a** and his “little brother” too!! And after he realized he did something that he shouldn’t, he left the brunette, and went crawling back to his girlfriend, saying that he love her, that he was sorry, bla bla blah… well, if only life is as simple as that with all the “I’m sorry.. “ and “I love you..”

When the girlfriend found out, of course she was furious, even kicked him out of the house they had been living in. How a guy would so claimed to be devoted into the relationship, saying and claiming that he loves his girlfriend, who by then should have claimed to be his better half with the fact that she is bearing his child, do such a horrible horrible unforgivable thing?? I couldn’t picture myself into it. I might kill myself when I know such a fact. What would you do if you were in the situation?? Would you kill yourself?? Abort the child and goon with your life?? Or would you keep the child and perhaps, let him take care of the baby?? Or you take care of the baby?? What would you do??

Then the second movie I saw was: Happy Feet. Might be too late to watch that movie, some may think that it was so long ago, it seemed so outdated, but no nice movie is too outdate for me J Heard their songs?? There was so much meaning to it. If only true love could be found so easily: The song of your heart…

Third movie: Confetti, a stupid dumb movie from

UK

.. really dumb enough.. It was about weddings of three soon-to-be married couples, a competition-like wedding.. The most outstanding original wedding of the year would win a house worth half a million pounds. I was thinking, having your marriage, in a competition? Challenging, yet, pathetic! Oh, how the competition would totally wreck some relationships, but, how it would totally strengthen relationships to some.

But after all of the movie marathon, I do realize that MARRIAGE is not just a simple thin. Not some things that we always imagine when we were little, in fact some adults would even imagine of. MARRIAGE isn’t just the bride in a beautiful flamboyant white gowns, and bridesmaids, and all the flowers here and there, and the little doves signifying purity, the wedding rings, etc etc….. It’s not just merely walking down the aisle of the church, with people staring at you, whispering how gorgeous you look on your BIG day, not just a merely exchanging vows and saying “I DO…” exchanging wedding rings, and “I now pronounce you man and wife…” It’s something more than that. Like, having to accept the person that you are going to marry, accepting the fact that you are going to be with the person for the rest of your life, no turning back (well, I know for some people they might argue that you can divorce when you just want to get out of the marriage, but MARRIAGE is a pure thing that should be kept sacred with total care and commitment), and also being able to live in the tradition or the nature of your better half. Like in the movie Confetti, I remember vividly, a couple who are naturists, meaning that they get close to nature, and I mean REAL CLOSE to nature. When among their group of naturist, they wear NOTHING but their birthday suits, and I remember that this girl, fell in love with a naturist and had to adapt being a naturist herself. Well, though we always think that the “Ang Mos” (Westerners, Caucasians) are open minded, but, being a naturist, well, that’s not something that they could accept without thinking of the consequences either. And what more, they wanted their wedding to be the naturist style too! Bride and groom, and also guests, wear nothing but their skins. Imagine that!! Well, having to decide to get married, yes, probably you yourself could accept it, but think about your families too. Can they accept your better half?? MARRIAGE is not an easy thing!

And love….. After watching the movie “The Last Kiss”, I do realize that LOVE definitely is not just merely saying “I love you” to the one you, claim to, love…. it’s totally, totally more than that…. Love is not just the feeling you have for the person, but what you do for the person, to the person…. So people or lovers out there, what would you do/say that you love your loved one?? What do you do to preserve the relationship?? What do you do to respect the relationship?? Whatever you have done to your loved one and make him/her feel that you love him/her?? It’s MORE THAN WORDS, people.. MORE THEN WORDS….

P/s: what’s your say, readers?? What’s your say??? Share with me your thoughts and your views… You know damn well that I seldom post up a blog right… :p come on.. Do me a little favor and share your comment and your thoughts J cheers..

i’m totally confused..

it’s been 3years and 10 months that we’ve been together..i look to it that we will spend our lives together a\in the future.. but,lately, i doubt it.. i’m ever thankful for everything that you’ve done.. i really do, but.. does it always have to be this way?? even now that we’re just dating and things is heading this way, what more could i expect if i really do want to spend a lifetime with you?

i’m afraid to be close to you again.. being dependant on you again.. i’ll just end up getting hurt.. getting rejected.. i feel like i’ve been taken for granted..do i really have to treat you cold, just like how u would treat me wen u’re tired or exhausted, then only you’ll know how to appreciate me? i donh’t want it to be this way.. it hurts.. i envy how other couples could be ever so loving even though they had been years together.. i’m sure, things perhaps will be better if i weren’t by your side this long.. perhaps it’s true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder".. but, that’s the last thing that i ever wanted to do.. to be away from you..

i know i demand of you acconpanying me, but is it too much? for you to spend private time with me? i’m not healed from the broken heartedness that i’ve been getting less closeness compared to you and your friend.. does your friend really, mean everythong to you? 3years ago, you wouldn’t even want to be away from me even a single second.. but now, it doesn’t matter anymore.. am i being taken from granted? all i ask for is your attention again.. just like before.. is it too much???

Sigh..

just back from Miss Malaysia Intercontinental pageant on Sat,represented Melaka.Final was on friday night at Dewan Sri Pinang, ticket was only RM20, but none of my friends went to support me..those who promised me, also didn’t turn up.. sad..

anyway, i tried and did my best for the pageant. io was uncertain whether i coulg get into the top3, but i was hoping i could get into top8 at least.. well, looking at my competitors, i was quite certain that top3 placing is definitely not for me.. still,i try to pull through..

from bthe very first day till the end, all was so relaxing.. apart from the exhaustion from sleepin late at night and waking up early next morning,all was still fine..totally different from Miss Malaysia Tourism pageant i participated the other time.. that pageant, schedule was tighter, chaperone was more strict, all was like a disciplinary camp.. this time, all was like a tiring holiday, that’s all. what i love most, is the feeling meeting again familiar faces from Miss Malaysia Tourism pageant, and of course, managed to gain new close friendships with Yaneki and June..Missing you lots….

anyway, the pre-judging day arrived where most girls were so nervous, hoping to do well in the prejudging to get into top8.. in our swimsuits, we made our way to the conference room where 5judges were sitting there, glancing, analysing and lookin at u from head to toe.. bombed u with few questions which u definitely will fail to answer if u aren’t prepared well and nervous.. however, thank God i made it thru.. *phew*

final day arrived, we rehearsed thruout the day, and the night came where all of us eaerly hope that it will complete and get done with A.S.A.P. I just wana go home and sleep!!!!!! well, we went thru 3rounds.. 1st round was a blast! all 15 finalists posed like a statue on the stage, like manequin.. waitin for the touch of life from the dancers.. well, if i have the video, i’ll put it up one day. thank God this time they didn’t have swimwear round, so basically all of us was so relieved to at least fill our stomach with pizzaz before the show started. went through all the rounds, bridal gown, evening wear, casual wear.. and lastly, the announcement of top 8 arrived. yeah! i was shorlisted!! ;p hehe..

the top 8 satyed back for Q&Q session.the question i got: "What will u do to help preserve the environment if you were crowned the Miss Malaysia Intercontinental 2006" (something like that la…..) my favourite question, thank GOd!! i was so prepared for that question and was hoping i would get that, so i got it, and i started to blah blah blah….. making my speech away.. hehe;p paise only, caused the audience to listen to my grandma story, and the other top8 finalists to stand there for so long.. ;p hehe…. sorry ah ppl…. ;p

finis my crap, go backstage, my other frens was amazed, and said that i definitely could make it through.. but, for me, oh goshh.. i talked too much! even my trainer said so.. sad sad.. nevermind la.. past d..

so we waited for result.. all 15 marched out again, waited for the subsidiary titlen result, then the top3.. that moment, i was quite certain that i won’t get into top3, unles the judges did like my speech though…and finally, when they called my name out for 1st runner up, i was shocked!!!! hehe.. yeah!!! a Malaccan got 1st runner-up!! yeah! ;p hehe..

still can’t believe it, but here i am, posting up a blog of what happened to me last week… to my dear, hope you’re proud of what i’ve achieved.. muax!!

Can’t believe the opportunity and experiencegiven to me by my agent to represent Malacca, my hometown, to Miss Malaysia Tourism Queen International pageant last week. Checked in Tanjung Bunga Beach Hotel in Penang on Monday, 22nd May 2006. Heart punding, unaware of what is installed for me, i made my way there.. and saw groups of girls representing states of Penang, Selangor, Wilayah and Johor.. All pretty, attractive, stunning, beautiful!! hosh, what a competition i will have, i thought in my mind. i stayed in the hotel for almost a week. at first i thought it would be ll fun, but i was wrong…!

1st day, met with my roommate, representative from Wilayah. i looked at the figure standing in front of me.. wow, body pun cantik, muka pub cantik.. duno how lar am i going to go through the pageant. i know well that there’s no way that i could win anything then.. throughout the first few days, all was stil QUITE fun.. we went visiting sponsors’ shops, all around Penang island.. and do a little photoshooting.. and as days go by, more and more and more photoshooting.. i was always in flat sandals if i am to walk much, but the whole week, sigh.. being around  the bevy of beauty queens, i was required to use high heels and walk around almost the wholw day! gosh! and my heels were like almos 4inches high! now, thanx to them, i’m already immune in walking in heels!! and, 1 thing i can tell u, the effect is, until now, days after  the pageant, i could still feel the numbness on my toes! once stepped outside the hotel, we’re required to SMILE!! (whether u like it or not, u have to! ) and even no phonecalls , no sms allowed.. well, if u think being a beauty queen is nice, think again!!

ok day by day, we’ve been doing visiting, training ourselves to walk in HIGH-heels, and SMILE !! on the final night, true enough i didn’t have a problem in smiling anymore.. ;p hehe.. and even not a poblem in catching balance while walkin in heels..! after the visiting, though tiring and worn out, all was worth it as we managed to grab lots of souveniers from our sponsors.. ;p hehe.. eye-shadow, pearl necklace, set of hair-care products.. wow!! but one thing i don like bout the experience is, sleepin at 3am in the mornin and gota wake up at 7am in the mornin!! my precious precious sleep!! until now, i could still feel the exhaustion in me..

though i didn’t win any titles that night, i was proud of myself for putting quite a good show during the final night on the 27th. and i’m proud that i’ve made improvements. in days to come, i’ll try even harder and make sure i won’t go home empty handed.

i’m not a beauty queen in the eyes of the people in public, but i’m still a beauty queen in the eyes of my family, and most important of all, in the eyes of my loved one i’m proud of what i’ve achieved and the golden opportunity laid before me.. i’ll try again….

OkIez.. MighT be To lAte… But.. At lEasT beTtEr tHaN Ntg..

27tH AuGuSt 2005 a dAy To rEmEmbER indEEd… iT wAs tHe TwO-ANd-A-hAlF yEaR AnNiveRSarY CeLeBrAtiOn WiTh my BF and iT’s AlSo The dAy i acHiEveD tHe TiTlE Miss Youth Gurney Plaza 2005..

It’S a DaY WhEn THe wOrlD haD pROveD tHat I’m nOt UnWorTHy.. SinCe I StEPpeD inTo SeConDaRy ScHoOl, My FriendS uSed To LoOk DoWn oN mE, CoMmEnTinG oN mY lOokS, My StYlE, tHe Way i am…ThEy gAve Me nAmEs, loWeRinG mY sElF-eStEem… WhEn i’m iN fOrm 2. mOst of mY fRieNds wEre buSy, eStAbLiShiNg tHeiR cIrCle of FrIenDs, bEinG hiGh-PrOfiLed anD wEll-KnOwn aLl aRoUnD MaLacCa, gEtTiNg tO kNoW nEw pPl, aNd hAviNg a BoyFriend tO sHaRe tHeiR LiVes WiTh…..i eNvIed a lifE like tHeIrS..bUt mE, i oNly sTartEd tO bE nOtiCed aNd StArTed dAtInG oNly whEn I wAs iN fOrm 4.. i CoUldn’T bE cOmpaRed tO mY fRiEnds…..

bUt nOw.. NoW i KnOw tHat aLL tHat DoeSn’T mAttER aT aLL..a wIsE pErsOn oNce Told mE thAt: "wHat Is It aBouT bEing BeaUtiFul iF uR HeArt sTinKs… WhAt iSiT aBouT bEinG sTunnIng iF uR aTTitUdE sUckS… tHe MoSt imPoRtanT tIp fOr bEinG BeaUtifUl Is HavIng a hEart tHat iS bEautIfUl…" i hElD oN To tHat aNd nOw i SucceDed.

i wAs eNcOurAged tO participAte in THis pAgEant becAuSE oF thE suPPort Of mY fRiEnds aNd bEcauSE i wAS aTTractEd tO thE priZes ;p sO i Took thE fOrm, FillED it iN, anD suBmiTted iT to tHE GURNEY PLAZA mAnaGEment. fEW dAYs lAter, thEY cALLed mE to Go fOr an iNteRvIew aNd i Was jUst tolD to Be NORMAL AND BE MYSELF. sO, wEnT tothE inTervIew tHE nExt Day in A pAir of JeaNs, loNg-Sleeved shIrt, sPort shOes anD my Hair wAs tiEd up iN a mEsSy bUn.i juSt hAD a nUde maKe-uP on my fAce wIth thE baSic eYe-LinEr, bLusher and lIp-GloSS and VOILA! CHOO LILIAN is oN tHe wAY to tHe iNtERvIEW! ;p uPon rEachinG tHe oFFIce at LeVEl 6, i Had tHe sHock Of mY liFE whEN thE doOr of tHe liFt oPenEd anD i SaW mAny gIrlS sTandIng anD wAitiNg dReSsed uP anD mAkE-uP aS iF lIke thEy’rE aTtenDing a DinnER fuNcTion.. tHey eVen hAd tHeiR hAir dOne! i Was So emBarrAssed aS i wAlk inTO thE offIce aNd aLL eYes wAs scRutiNizinG mE as iF lIke i’m An aLien.. tHey wEre liKe: "iS tHis gIrl rEallY gOin fOr thE iNtErvieW liKe thAt (casual jeans and long-sleeved and sport shoes) ? " aNd wHen i WEnt inTo tHe inTerView rOom, inTerViewEd and cAme Out wiTh a GURNEY PLAZA uMbRella in My haNd (aS iT is a SouvEnir to All tHe cOntEstaNts wHo WenT fOr thE inTervIew) aNd tHey wEre EveN mOre SurPriSed: "OH MY GOD! ShE rEallY iS a cOnTestAnt gOin FOr thE inTerView..

tHe nExT dAy, wHen tHey cAllED mE anD tOld mE thAt i’Ve mAdE iT tO bE 1 oF the 20 fInaListS, i wAs aStOniShed! nOt Bad maR heH.. sO cAsuAl oSO cAN mAke It to FINALS ;p hehe… ;p bUt, tHat’S nOt aLL.. i WeNt to tRy ouT mY eVenIng wEar anD i sAW thE oTher 19 fInaliSt weRe sTunNinG! mOsT oF tHem aRE pArt-Time mOdelS! ok.. i’m sUreLy tO lOse haNd dOwn…. wEll, i Don’t cAre.. jUst jOinED fOr tHe fUn oF iT and cOnTinuEd rUnninG thE coURse.. i wEnT fOr thE rEheArsals tO trAin oUr cAt-wAlk anD co-OrdInaTion, gOt tO knOw nEw beAutiFul pPl.. iT’s aLL fuN! ;p

tHen tHe dAy aRrivEd.. tHe FINAL OF MISS YOUTH GURNEY PLAZA 2005 PAGEANT. tHe eVent iS aT 3pm, bUt aLL oF uS had to bE theRe bY 10am fOr finaL reHeaRsal, mAke-up [ by M.A.C] and hAir-do [by EXTREME]. tHe cLock tIcks tO 3pm anD aLL 20 oF uS aRe rEaDY attHe baCksTage tO sTrut oUrseLves oUT..wE paRadEd iN cOlOurfUl baTIk wEar sPoNsoRed bY SEASON COLLECTION [ 1st time i showed off my belly in front of a myriad of audiences... ],  sPorTs WeaR sPonSorEd By WORLD OF SPORTS [ iT's aN aMazinG tHinG thAt i cOulD squEeze intO a size S wIthOut eXpoSing any eXtra tYres ;p ], and evEninG wEar sPonSoreD bY SPARKS BRIDAL HOUSE, anSwEreD qUesTions aNd SMILE!!!!! ;p

tHe mOmENt of TrutH is fInaLLy hEre.. i’Ve hAd iN mInd tHat i cOulD nEveR gEt aNytHing.. sO i DoN’t eVen bOthER to liSten to Our tRaiNer oN wHat wE sHoulD do whEn wE gEt thE priZe.. sO i WaiTed tO sEE wHo wOulD bE tHe MISS YOUTH GURNEY PLAZA 2005… fIrsT thEy annOnced thE sUbsIUdiAry tiTle : MISS PHOTOGENIC, MISS SPORTY, MISS PERSONALITY, MISS BEAUTIFUL SKIN and finally MISS FITNESS, tHey mEntIoneD mY nAmE aNd mY nUmbER 15 anD oH mY GOD!!!! tHis cHubbY me gOt MISS FITNESS! aDui~  thE juDgeS dIdn’t wEar thEir sPectAcles wHile JudGinG i ThiNK… okiEz~ nvm.. nOw wE sEE thE mAiN wInnErs.. tHey annOunCed 2nd RUNNER UP gOeS to HELEN CHEAH.. [yEah, ok...] 1st RUNNER-UP gOeS to Li FunG… [huh... ? caNNot bE whAt...ok lar nvm.. see who get the champion pula......] anD tHe wInnEr fOr MISS YOUTH GURNEY PLAZA 2005 gOes tO………………nUMbER……….. *** MISS******************* [ ok lar.. what number? who? hey where's the gal? why never go out take the prize....? ] tHeN tHe eMcEE rEpeaTeD lOudLy.. NUMBER 15! MISS CHOO LILIAN! [ hah! i got it ah! siao liao lar....] i wAlkEd bLindlY toWards mY pRizES, stiLL unConCiouS oF wHat Is hAPPeniNg.. tHey gaVE me my Sash, mY floWer, mY haMper and finaLLy, i’m siTtEd on tHe thRone anD i WAs cROwNed! tHe emCee mEntIoned tHat i wOn bEcauSe of mY oUtsTandIng pErfOrmanCe duRinG Q&A.. wEll, ThaNk GOD fOr mY cAkaP bAnYak sKills ;p CaMEraS FlaSHINg EvERywHeRe…sMilE tiLL mY liPs aRe nUMb.. i sTil caN’t bEliEve iT! afTer tHe pHoTogRaPhy sEssIoN, thE 3 oF uS wEnt fOr a PrEss inTerView.. keNa TeMbAK by qUeStIons!

i wAlkEd hOme wItH : [MISS FITNESS] GINTELL 5IN 1 AIR PRESSURE BELT wOrTh RM500 + FOCUS POINT EYEWEAR wOrTh RM400; [WINNER OF MISS YOUTH GURNEY PLAZA 2005] M.A.C COSMETICS HAMPER wOrTh RM700 + 321K DIAMOND VOUCHER WORTH RM700 + FOCUS POINT EYEWEAR WORTH RM400 + A PARKER PEN WORTH RM750 & A 1YEAR VIP MEMBERSHIP AT CELEBRITY FITNESS.. All tHeSE tOtaL uP tO aBouT RM3000.. If CaSh bEttEr riTe…. y lAr tHey dOnWanA gIVe CaSh…..

thAt’s tHe dAy.. iF oNly mY BF iS tHeRe tO wAtCh mE.. anD sHarE thE moMents wIth mE…. hOwEver, thIs viCtoRy iS fOr u, DeAr…….tHanKs fOr bEing thEre wiTh mE anD suPPortiNg mE eMotiOnnaLlY and sPiRituALLy….

i tHanK my fRienDs aLso, fOr thEir suPProt and Faith iN mE.. thAnK u aLl vErY mUch!

**chEck Out the piCtuRes tAkeN iN mY fRienDsTer phOtO aLbUm"

PhOnEs.. PhOnEs.. PhOnEs…

ReAlLy ReAlLy WaNa Go Get a PhOnE fOr mY ‘AhEm, AhEm.. ‘

BuT HiS DrEaM, SiGh~ DaMn ExPeNsIvE.. If OnLy I cOuld GeT It…

PpL sAy,

WhY sO StUpId WaNa Buy FoR HiM ?? MiGht As WeLL BuY fOr URsElF

I ThInk,

DoEsN’t MaTteR CoZ I lOvE HiM.. I jUz Want HiM tO Be hApPy, Den I’ll Be HaPpY Too…

We’Ve JuSt QuArRelLeD a FeW dAyS aGo, BuT, ThaT StiLl dIdN’t HiNdEr mE To GeT hIm "ThAt".

He SaId, hE wAnTeD sPaCe and TiMe FoR HiMsElf aNd FrEnDs..

PeRhApS, I aM SilLy, Am I nOt?

SiGh~